The Vacation is over. . .back to the salt mines.

My wife and 6 of our closest friends (all couples) spent a beautiful long weekend at the lake. We talked late into the night, we shared and laughed a lot. I love having a circle of friends that are committed to a friendship. I dread the parade coming up. . .gay pride that is. We have been responsible for the float, giving up our weekends to work on it and I just could not even think about it this weekend. I wonder if anything has been done on it but we have spent so much time that I felt like someone else needed to step up. I am sure that tomorrow I will be freaking out. Also I got some steroids and my Crohn's flare-up seems to be better. Back to the lake . . . We spent time in fellowship that we would never have the opportunity to at home. It was a beautiful thing. The picture is a view from our cabin this morning as the rain came in. The fishing was good. The cabins were decent, much better than Lake Murray. We love the scenery at Lake Murray but they need to tear everyone of their 50 year old cabins down and start over. Anyway, these had great decks and kitchens. The guy who handled our check-in was a really sweet guy and very helpful, he bent over backwards to help us out. There were HUGE spiders but after we hosed everything down AND then sprayed with enough bug spray to fill a crop duster things were much less "buggy".

It's raging and it's back

I have been in a stage of remission from Crohn's disease for about 5 years now. It's funny how fast that time flies by when you are feeling good. I guess I never had complete relief but better than anything I had before. I was afraid when I had the lap band surgery that I would be thrown into a flare-up but no. So when I had a wound that would not heal because I was on Colazal which is an immuno-suppressant, I stopped taking it. I still felt good. Then I took that little sojourn to New Orleans and have been sick ever since but it's gotten much worse. I had surgery to correct a fistula and that never has healed so I am pretty miserable right now. However, when I get freaked out about it I have learned to talk to my problem about how big my God is instead of talking to God about my problem. I know that God is going to heal me and I will be better than ever. I have been on both sides of this and I know that soon I will be on the other side again soon enough. If you feel like you will not be on the other side of a problem soon talk to your problem about how big your God is.

The Anxeity Cometh

Why oh why do these waves of anxiety hit me. When I get stressed out something (chemical I assume) snaps and sends me easily into a rage. Even having a little xanax every now and then to keep the anxiety at bay some times just does not work. Then I wonder. . ."maybe everyone feels like this they just handle it better". Either way all I can do is acknowledge it and work around it. I think it is a culmination of my boss giving me more responsibility than anyone else (she doesn't hate me; she is "helping me grow. . .")trying to get the Pride Parade Float built and needing some time for me--dang it. Then I feel selfish. The wyfe just had knee surgery too which makes me the beck and call girl when I am the princess--dang it. Lord, forgive me for being a whiner. Phew. Vent over.
Chubby baby girl out.

God loves me but not YOU

OK, I'm really hot about the following tidbit of info:
A "Christian" church in Arlington, TX refused to have a funeral for a gay man related to one of their employees. They were gonna do it then they figured out he was gay and dumped him the day before. Did I also mention that he is a veteran? Nice. Thanks for the Freedom. . .fag. The church is High point Church and you can read all about this issue at the Dallas Morning News Web site.

But just so you don't think all Church's named "High Point" are ugly the website for High Point Church in Wisconsin has the following on there web site:
A Case Of Mistaken IdentityPosted Aug 12, 2007 You are looking at the website of High Point Church in Madison, Wisconsin, which has no affiliation with the High Point Church in Arlington, Texas. The church in Arlington has been involved in recent days in controversy over the cancellation of a previously scheduled funeral service. Our sympathies go to the family of the deceased that is grieving their recent loss. Posted on behalf of the Elder Board and Rev. Ridley N. Usherwood.

For those who may run across this because they have been told that as a gay person you do not have a place at the table to worship Christ. . .you have been lied to by the Devil himself. One of the worst work that the evil one is doing right now is splintering believers and turning us against each other which strikes at the very core of Jesus' one commandment to us to love one another. And the highest most respected are falling for it. If you believe in Jesus Christ as your personal savior , that he died and rose for you, confess your sins and pray this then you will have everlasting life. Find a welcoming church on Google or email me I will help. I never want to think someone was left behind because they believed the lie.

Hello Kitty

Did I mention I am a Hello Kitty Freak? I know, I know but I can't help it. I just love her. Here is a avatar I "appropraited" from someone, it's my favorite. In the event you can't tell she is holding a GPS device.

Self Discovery

OK, OK so I have not posted in a while. . .sorry, I was involuntarily sent to New Orleans for a period of self discovery (aka Leadership Training). These are the things I discovered during my "leadership" training:
1. I am bossy.
2. People perceive me as bossy.
3. Duh!
So they then set about spending two weeks trying to get me to what? Not be bossy. One of the last days we had a "simulation". . .the feedback I got from that? I was not bossy enough during the exercise. Lessons learned? Be myself and be bossy but first pretend to hear what others are saying before I am bossy. Cost of Training, thousands, cost of little pieces of my soul? Priceless.
The other thing I learned is that the Fed's want to send everyone there for training to stimulate the economy.
Let me tell you a little about 2007 New Orleans. If you go there as a tourist and stay in the downtown area you think "WOW, New Orleans has really made a come back!" However, if you leave your little cocoon of the the 5 mile radius of the French Quarter/Convention Center area you realize just how devastated the Big Easy really is. You pass street after street of houses with the "X" spray painted by FEMA on them, the whole city is covered. These X show who serched the house, the date and if they found any bodies. Who needs Cemetary tours when you have this kind of horror staring you in the face? You still see "trailer cities" set up in parking lots where shopping centers used to be. They are orderly and almost seem like an overflow from some popular RV park, yet they even have armed guards to make sure you belong there. It seemed everyday I was there a shooting was reported. We saw military police anytime we left the "cocoon". I went to Wal-mart on a couple of occasions and what I sensed and felt was a quiet desperation. I feel for the tenacity of the people of New Orleans but I am not sure that it is possible to deal with mass post traumatic stress syndrome in those sorts of numbers. There is a feeling that hangs in the air. . .heavy; like the humidity . . . like a forced smile when you are having your photo taken and you have to smile. I don't think many of the residents are ready to "say cheese" yet. And who can blame them?

Clueless

UGH! I had one of those email forwards sent to me . . .you know the kind you have a million times a day and just delete because you know you will not get a wish after you send it to 25 special friends. Well, my best friend sent me one and it was racist and I was shocked. I told her it offended me and she got really upset. As a matter of fact being the person I am I re-worked it so it was about gay people not people of color so she would see what I meant about it. I thought it was over and done with but she felt the need to poll everyone about whether or not it was racist (they said it was). Now, this friend is very vocal and never afraid to tell anyone what she thinks about how they live their lives but yet someone says one thing to her and she's all offended. To top it off, there are only two really active members on our church outreach committee and she committed to helping once she graduated which she did in May. First meeting she was a no show. I am begining to feel my friend is a fair-weathered one. I feel like I am in high school again.